Free Press Journals Editing Blunders !!

 

1)The title in itself is too long. It could well have been ‘Minor raped, killed in the visarjan din’The news report in AP/IP format has a poor lead, the most important part of the news report.‘In a gruesome incident a minor was kidnapped, raped and brutally murdered in the basement of Aarey Toll Naka flyover bridge in Goregaon east around 8 pm on this Friday by an 18 year old with a previous criminal record’


2)The body (second para) uses the word ‘battered’ whereas an appropriate word would be ‘clobbered’.i.e The 18-year-old accused clobbered her head with a stone after raping her.

3)Incorrect punctuations especially usage of comma’s in compound sentences before and and in complex sentences before words as which and where abound the body.Wrong usage of pronouns eg The victim and her sister were watching the Ganpati Procession near her building when it should be their building.

4)He then took her to the basement below the Aarey Toll Naka flyover bridge. Basement are always below so correct construction will be He then took her to the of Aarey Toll Naka flyover bridge.…..area below was filled up with parked vehicles.

5)Area being a two dimensional property can be ‘occupied’ and not ‘filled’ which is correct for three dimensional properties as volume.So proper construction will be …. Area below was occupied on account of vehicle parking.

6)The police said around 8.30 pm family members and neighbours of Pratibha started searching Since the sentence is reported speech (indirect) it should be The police reported that it was around 8.30 pm that family members and neighbours……The usage of word ‘incompetent’ is incorrect since it means inability to do the task properly. The gravity of the situation demands ultra modern equipments rather than competency to deal with the situation.

7)Last sentence reflects the negligence ‘ His father works in a private firm’ when it should have been ‘ ‘Her father works in a private firm’ considering the victim is a girl.



This comes as a surprise since the daily in question is Free Press Journal known for its high reporting, editing and English usage.

-Bhushan Sarmalkar.