Thursday, November 10, 2011

DNA errs badly!!

Train crushes 3 passengers in Satara

Fearing that the train they were travelling in had caught fire, three passengers jumped out of it only to be crushed by another train moving in opposite direction. The accident took place between Samet and Lasalgaon railway stations near Nashik on Tuesday evening. The trio, three men and a woman, travelling in the Mumbai-bound Tapovan Express jumped out around 6.20 pm. They were killed by the Delhi-bound Mangala Express moving in opposite direction.


http://epaper.dnaindia.com/epaperpdf/09112011/8main%20edition-pg3-0.pdf

The above news appeared on right hand side page 3 of DNA dated 09/11/2011 (Wednesday) last news in 'IN A NUTSHELL' column. The title reads Train crushes 3 passengers in Satara, however, the incident has taken place in Nashik district thereby confusing the reader besides providing an incorrect information about one of the important W's of any news story - 'Where'. The daily should ideally issue an apology and error correction.
                                                                                                 - Bhushan Sarmalkar, Mumbai.
                                                                                         

Monday, September 19, 2011

Free Press Journal Blunders Again!!

In 'TV se Bollywood tak!', on e-BIZ page of 'Weekend' supplement of 'SUNDAY FREE PRESS JOURNAL', dated 18th September 2011, Vivek Kar blunders miserably when he says Sachin Pilgaonkar directed the successful TV soap ‘Tu Tu Main Main’ and then went on to make several Marathi movies. The fact, however, is that before coming to the small screen with the said serial, Sachin had already produced and directed eight Marathi movies under his own banner 'Kittu Films Pvt Ltd.' And it was under this banner that some of the most successful faces in Hindi films like Nivedita Joshi, Varsha Usgaonkar, Rajeshwari Sachdev, Sushant Ray (V. Shantaram's grand son who later worked in hits like 'Vansh' and 'Baazigar' and in south under the name of Sidhartha), Neelkanti Patekar (Nana Patekar's wife) and Supriya Pilgaonkar, who later went on to become his wife, debuted. Of these Supriya Pilgaonkar (Navri Mile Navryala - 1984), Neelkanti Patekar (Aatmavishwas -1989) and Rajeshwari Sachdev (Aaytya Gharat Gharoba-1991) went on to win state awards for their debut performances. Sachin, besides being a a producer, director is an accomplished play back singer too. There are probably very few or no film personalities so well versed with every aspect of film making from production, direction, acting, music, set and costume designs, to dialogue delivery, script writing and choreography etc. Probably, that is the reason why he shares such a close rapport with the likes of Amitabh Bachchan, Subhash Ghai, late Shammi Kapoor and late Sanjeev Kumar. Sachin's talent was discovered and later honed by none other than one of the finest Indian film makers Raja Paranjape during the making of his Marathi film 'Hach Majha Marga Ekla' (1962) wherein he predicted Sachin would grow up to be a good director. Sachin won national award as a child artist for the same film at the age of nine. And the current film that he is directing in Hindi is not his first film but he has already directed a Hindi movie produced by Ashok Ghai (Subhash Ghai's brother) called ‘ Prem Deewane’ (1992) a multi starrer that featured Madhuri Dixit, Jackie Shroff, Pooja Bhatt and Vivek Mushran and wherein he also did some good play back singing for an excellent music composed by Laxmikant-Pyarelal . For someone who is credited to rope in a reluctant Kishore Kumar to sing in Marathi, which incidently, was also one of his very last recordings for Sachin's hit film 'Gammat Jammat (1987). For someone who's silver jubilee function of last hit 'Ashi hi Banva Banvi' (1988) had none other than Amitabh Bachchan as a chief guest remarking, “ Sachins skill to deliver eight hits in a row is indeed commendable. He must share the secret of his success with us!!”, Vivek Kar's write up is indeed a raw deal to an illustrious career! Evidently the writer not only has a poor know how of the subject but also has not done enough of homework - pathetic!

                                                                                             - Bhushan Sarmalkar.
 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Bad Headlines - DNA

Daughter finds mum dead on floor, murdered


Published: Saturday, Sep 10, 2011, 8:00 IST

By Dayanand Kamath
Place: Mumbai
Agency: DNA



...................................................................................................................................................................
 
Bad Title. Ideally it could have been ' Yet Another Senior Citizen Found Murdered' or 'Senior Citizen found Murdered'.
                                - Bhushan Kumarsen Sarmalkar.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

24X7 hands out a raw deal to Asha Bhosle in FLASH BACK!!

There's no better word than 'bad' to describe the feature 'FLASH BACK' on songstress Asha Bhosle's illustrious playback singing career telecast on saturday, 10th September 2011, on 24x11 channel of NDTV. The feature not only showed 'Dilbar Dilse Pyaare' from the film 'Caravan' in league of sensous songs sung by Asha Bhosle when it is actually sung by Lata Mangeshkar but even omitted some of the milestones in Asha Bhosle's playback singing career. For example, if 'Naya Daur' launched the career of Asha Bhosle it also brought to fore some great musical associations of the songstress with the likes of O. P. Nayyar and Ravi. It is unclear why Ravi's contribution to the musical career of Asha Bhosle was completely overlooked. How can one forget Asha crooning an elegant ' Uljhan Suljhe Naa' for Zeenat Aman in B. R. Chopra's ' thriller 'Dhund' that was based on Agatha Christie's ' The Unexpected Guest' to 'Aagey Bhi Jaane Naa tu' from 'Waqt' for Ravi. Outside B. R. Chopra banner too the duo dished out unforgettable melodies in ' Do Badan' - remember ' Jab Chali Thandi Hawa'? And if O. P. Nayyar was remembered why were his evergreen romantic Asha -Rafi duets from 'Ek Musafir Ek Hasina' overlooked? The feature acknowledged the musical association of Asha Bhosle with non Hindi composers/singers/bands like Boy George and Code Red but didnt acknowledge some of her associations that brought out songs that are ageless and if I may humbly say could have only been sung by Asha Bhosle. Take for example her association with Sudhir Phadke in Marathi which gave birth to evergreen songs of  ' Jagachya Pathivar' - whether it is ' Vikat ghetala Shyam' or ' Nach nachuni' both penned by G.D Madgulkar, also known as modern day Valmiki - they are simply unforgettable gems in the songstress illustious careers. And how can one forget Asha Bhosle singing 'Nach Re Mora' for P. L. Deshpande which till date is a household nursery rhyme or ' Gori Gori Paan' for Srinivas Khale who passed away recently. Then ofcourse the semi classical songs 'Sakhi Ga Murli Mohan Mohi Mana' or ' Nandalala' from the national award winning Marathi movie ' Dharmakanya' composed by her brother Pt. Hridayanath Mangeshkar and penned by none other than P. Savlaram, one of the finest Marathi poets. Then how could one possibly overlook 'Paan Khaye Sayya Hamaro' composed by Shanker Jaikishen, penned by Shailendra and ofcourse sung by Asha Bhosle for the movie ' Teesri Kasam' or a sensous 'Mujhe pyaas aisi pyaas lagi hai' from 'Andaaz'. Or can we forget 'Maang Mein Bharlo Rang Sakhi Ri' or 'Raat Bhi Hai Kuch Bheegi Bheegi' from 'Mujhe Jeene Do', composed for her by Jaidev. Then the Gazals she sung for for Naushad for a Doordarshan programme like ' Maine Kaha Naa Kisise Tere Fasane Ko' or 'Salona sa sajan hai' are virtually unforgettable. Then why her finest songs for Bhappi Lahiri like those from Prakash Mehra's not so successful ' Zindagi Ek Jua' or some lesser known RD numbers which were experimental and too difficult to sing virtually squeezing out the best of Asha Bhosle's musical talent like ' Daiyya Main Yeh Kahan Aa Phasi' from 'Caravan', were overlooked remains a mystery. In the process, however, the channel ended-up handing  out a raw deal to the legend and her illustrious career that spans decades and stretches beyond boundries!!
                                - Bhushan Sarmalkar.



Thursday, September 8, 2011

Free Press Editing Blunders ..continued!!


The newsreport ' Kunicka's Pre Eid Iftar Bash' on Glam page (last page ) of FPJ dated 07th September 2011, is again full of editing blunders. This is especially so about the lead. But the height of editing blunder is the usage of the word 'Handsomest' since such a word is non existent. The superlative of handsome is most handsome and not handsomest!! -BhushanSarmalkar.                                                              
                                                                                                                                                                          

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Free Press Journals Editing Blunders !!




 

1)The title in itself is too long. It could well have been ‘Minor raped, killed in the visarjan din’The news report in AP/IP format has a poor lead, the most important part of the news report.‘In a gruesome incident a minor was kidnapped, raped and brutally murdered in the basement of Aarey Toll Naka flyover bridge in Goregaon east around 8 pm on this Friday by an 18 year old with a previous criminal record’


2)The body (second para) uses the word ‘battered’ whereas an appropriate word would be ‘clobbered’.i.e The 18-year-old accused clobbered her head with a stone after raping her.

3)Incorrect punctuations especially usage of comma’s in compound sentences before and and in complex sentences before words as which and where abound the body.Wrong usage of pronouns eg The victim and her sister were watching the Ganpati Procession near her building when it should be their building.

4)He then took her to the basement below the Aarey Toll Naka flyover bridge. Basement are always below so correct construction will be He then took her to the of Aarey Toll Naka flyover bridge.…..area below was filled up with parked vehicles.

5)Area being a two dimensional property can be ‘occupied’ and not ‘filled’ which is correct for three dimensional properties as volume.So proper construction will be …. Area below was occupied on account of vehicle parking.

6)The police said around 8.30 pm family members and neighbours of Pratibha started searching Since the sentence is reported speech (indirect) it should be The police reported that it was around 8.30 pm that family members and neighbours……The usage of word ‘incompetent’ is incorrect since it means inability to do the task properly. The gravity of the situation demands ultra modern equipments rather than competency to deal with the situation.

7)Last sentence reflects the negligence ‘ His father works in a private firm’ when it should have been ‘ ‘Her father works in a private firm’ considering the victim is a girl.



This comes as a surprise since the daily in question is Free Press Journal known for its high reporting, editing and English usage.

-Bhushan Sarmalkar.